I was a mess. I had cold sores all over my mouth from doing coke. I was grossly overweight and now I had this pinched nerve. Meanwhile, Kiki had done all the wedding bullsh*t. She was superstitious, so for something blue she put on blue panties. For something borrowed, she was wearing her mom’s bracelet. She had plenty of old stuff so that was no biggie. We got to the chapel and I couldn’t believe that the guy that was marrying us looked just like Slick, the black pro-wrestling manager who managed Big Boss Man. We both looked so bad that we didn’t even want pictures but then we broke down and got some. We started looking through the pictures and the guy that married us said, “That will be a donation of seventy-five dollars and up.” How do you come off setting the price for a donation? I felt like he was getting ready to call the law on us like we were going to run off with the pictures.
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