the last book I ever read (Meyer: A Novel by Stephen Dixon, excerpt four)

from Meyer: A Novel by Stephen Dixon:

Phone rang, waking him. Room was dark. Must be very late, he thought. Felt for his watch on his night table and pressed the face-light button on it. Ten to four. Can’t be anything but bad news. Phone kept ringing. “What’s going on?” Sandra said. “What time is it?” “The phone. It’s ten to four. It must be about your father. It’s bad news, I’m sure.” “Answer it.” “You don’t want to? I’ll bring over the portable.” “Just answer it.” He went to the phone and picked up the receiver and said “Yes?” “This is Dr. Cory at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York. Is Sandra Rosen there?” “It’s about her father. He died this morning, didn’t he?” “May I speak to her, please?”

Jon Melander, the fifth interview in Deadspin's Would You Do It Again? series

"So maybe I’m being naïve. Maybe I’m justifying the fact that I played and my son wants to play and I think it’s going to be okay if he plays college. Maybe it is naïve to think that he’s going to come out on the other side okay."

I have been talking, and will be talking, with some of the more than 4500 former NFL players who have filed suit against the League over head injuries.

today we feature our interview with former New England Patriots, Cincinnati Bengals and Denver Broncos offensive lineman Jon Melander.

my thanks to Deadspin for the opportunity, and to all the former players who have shared their thoughts and time.

the last book I ever read (Meyer: A Novel by Stephen Dixon, excerpt three)

from Meyer: A Novel by Stephen Dixon:

Phone rang at home. He was at his worktable in the bedroom and picked up the receiver and said hello. “Good morning. May I speak to Sandra,” his father-in-law said. “I have very bad news for her” “What is it?” and he said “I have to tell Sandra first.” “She can’t come to the phone right now. And we left the portable handset off the receiver all night and it won’t be working for another hour.” “You can’t drag the phone you’re talking to me on to wherever she is?” “Cord doesn’t reach the bathroom.” “Her mother killed herself a half-hour ago. I’m waiting for the police and firemen now. That’s what they said would come when I call 911. I discovered her in her bathroom. She took pills and vodka and put a bag over her head and left a note with how she did it, I suppose to make certain everyone knew I had nothing to do with it. Tell Sandra to stop whatever she’s doing and come to the phone. She has to for me. I’m in so much shock I can barely move.” “I’m so sorry, Boris, so sorry. I don’t know what else I can say. Just a moment. I’ll get her, or maybe the handset’s working now.” He picked it up and pressed the Talk button. No dial tone and the window didn’t light up. “It’s still not working. Needs more recharging. I’ll get her, don’t worry. Hold on.” He went to the bathroom door, knocked on it and said “Sandra, your dad’s on the phone. It’s about your mother. He has to speak to you right away.” “It sounds bad. What happened?” and he said “He wants to tell you himself.” “He must have told you, so tell me.” “Can I open the door?” “Yes.” He opened it and said “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Your mother killed herself half an hour ago, or he probably means that’s when he found her.” “Portable still not working?” “Yeah.” She got off the toilet, flushed it and went to the phone.

the last book I ever read (Meyer: A Novel by Stephen Dixon, excerpt two)

from Meyer: A Novel by Stephen Dixon:

His sister called. “I’ve very bad news. There’s no way I can break it to you without it being disturbing, so I’ll just come right out with it. Mom died of a stroke this afternoon. If this is any consolation, the doctor said she never felt anything and was probably dead before she hit the floor.” Later in the call, he said “I’ll get on a train right away.” She said “No need to rush. Mom gave me written instructions a while back, saying she just wanted to be cremated, no funeral or memorial or any fuss, so we don’t have to deal with it for another couple of days. Meanwhile, I’ll take care of everything from here.”

the last book I ever read (Meyer: A Novel by Stephen Dixon, excerpt one)

from Meyer: A Novel by Stephen Dixon:

Walks. Did he shut the storm door tight? Forgot to. When he comes back she might complain. “You didn’t shut the storm door as I asked you to. It was a simple request. What is it with you?” What is it with him? Maybe he did shut it tight and forgot he had. Did he? Forgets. He does things so quickly, without thinking. He’ll find out when he gets back. Door might be ajar. That so, he won’t ask. If she says, he’ll know.

the last book I ever read (David Shoemaker's The Squared Circle, excerpt fourteen)

from The Squared Circle: Life, Death, and Professional Wrestling by David Shoemaker:

Brian Pillman was born in 1962 under one of those bad moons that people talk about. His dad died of a heart condition when he was only two months old. When Brian was two, he was diagnosed with throat cancer, and his childhood was riddled with throat surgeries thereafter; he underwent more than forty when all was said and done. When something like that doesn’t kill you, a personal determination often takes hold: The high school football coaches said he was too small to play, but he ended up the team’s standout; he wasn’t heavily recruited but ended up making the Miami (Ohio) squad, where he was a two-time All-American playing as a relatively minuscule defensive tackle; told he was too small to make the pros, he still had a stint with his hometown Bengals, then almost caught on with the Bills, and finally played for the Calgary Stampeders of the CFL until a leg injury forced him out of the game. But that didn’t deter him, and that’s one of a few phrases that appears over and over again when you start reading about Brian Pillman, “The Leg Injury Didn’t Deter Him,” along with “Increasingly Unhinged” and “Before His Time.”

the last book I ever read (David Shoemaker's The Squared Circle, episode thirteen)

from The Squared Circle: Life, Death, and Professional Wrestling by David Shoemaker:

There have been other wrestlers to die in the ring: Mike DiBiase (“Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase’s stepfather) may be the only other wrestler that mainstream American fans have heard of; he had a heart attack midmatch at the age of forty-five. Larry Booker (a.k.a Moondog Spot) likewise died of a heart attack in the ring. Gary Albright died after a “bulldog”—his head forcibly driven into the mat by his opponent—at a local show in Pennsylvania. Indie wrestler Daniel “Spider” Quirk died when his opponent fell from the ring onto Quirk’s head against the concrete floor. Japanese standout Mitsuharu Misawa died after a belly-to-back suplex dropped him hard onto his neck, and female wrestlers Emiko Kado and Plum Mariko both suffered life-ending accidents in the ring. Mexican wrestler Jesús Javier Hernández—known as “Oro”—reacted too dramatically to a clothesline and landed on his head, ending his life. British behemoth Malcom “King Kong” Kirk had a heart attack after landing a “splash” on his opponent. Ray Gunkel died in the locker room after an in-ring punch to the chest apparently gave him a heart attack.

These tragedies—all of them nebulous incidences to the average wrestling fan—are balanced by a handful of storylines in which death, or near-death, was scripted: Fritz Von Erich’s postbeatdown collapse, Ric Flair’s midmonologue heart attack, Road Warrior Hawk’s leap off the Titantron, referee Tim White’s (numerous) suicide attempts. The list could go on to include lesser offenses: Brian Pillman pulling a gun on Steve Austin, Hulk Hogan sending the Giant (Paul Wight) off a rooftop, and, less seriously, the Undertaker’s innumerable “buried alive” and casket matches.