His voice rumbled my loins, like a lion’s roar.
“Hi, Sylvester.” That’s when I realized that there is not other human on earth named Sylvester. There’s a cartoon cat named Sylvester, but literally no other human I’ve ever met. I’ve been alive almost forty years. I’ve met a grand total of one Sylvester, and it was Stallone. It’s a VERY rare name. And to say the name “Sylvester” out loud to a person named “Sylvester” really makes you realize just how strange a name “Sylvester” is. It’s bizarre. For some reason “Sylvester Stallone” isn’t that weird. The “Stallone” somehow anchors it in normalcy. But you take that away and find yourself with just “Sylvester” dangling out there like a dick in the breeze, and you understand how odd it is.
If you’re thinking, That’s not that weird of a name, then you’re just exposing yourself as someone who’s never been face-to-face with a Sylvester. And by that I mean, you’re somebody who has never met Sylvester Stallone, because, again, there is only one Sylvester on the planet, and it’s him.
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