Sunday, February 21, 2016

the last book I ever read (The Iceman Cometh by Eugene O'Neill, excerpt four)

from The Iceman Cometh by Eugene O'Neill:

No, dis round’s on me. I run into luck. Dat’s why I dragged Chuch outa bed to celebrate. It was a sailor. I rolled him.
She giggles.
Listen, it was a scream. I’ve run into some nutty souses, but dis guy was de nuttiest. De booze dey dish out around de Brooklyn Navy Yard must be as terrible bug-juice as Harry’s. My dogs was givin’ out when I seen dis guy holdin’ up a lamppost, so I hurried to get him before a cop did. I says, “Hello, Handsome, wanta have a good time?” Jees, he was paralyzed! One of dem polite jags. He tries to bow to me, imagine, and I had to prop him up or he’d fell on his nose. And what d’yuh tink he said? “Lady,” he says, “can yuh kindly tell me de nearest way to de Museum of Natural History?”
They all laugh.
Can yuh imagine! At two A.M. As if I’d know where de dump was anyway. But I says, “Sure ting, Honey Boy, I’ll be only too glad.” So I steered him into a side street where it was dark and propped him against a wall and give him a frisk.
She giggles.
And what d’yuh tink he does? Jees, I ain’t lyin’, he begins to laugh, de big sap! He says, “Quit ticklin’ me.” While I was friskin’ him for his roll! I near died! Den I toined him ‘round and give him a push to start him. “Just keep goin’,” I told him. “It’s a big white building on your right. You can’t miss it. He must be swimmin’ in de North River yet!
They all laugh.

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