the last book I ever read (Gottland by Mariusz Szczygiel, excerpt four)

from Gottland: Mostly True Stories from Half of Czechoslovakia by Mariusz Szczygiel:

In the field of skin-loss compensation, Jaroslava Moserová collaborates with some Polish scientists, who award her a gold medal.

She is also granted a scholarship to go to the University of Texas at Galveston.

She notices that she suffers from a strange affliction: she has no memory of the patients whom she has helped. She only remembers the ones in whose cases she failed.

Being ineffective is what she finds most horrifying about herself.