the last book I ever read (Self-Help: Stories by Lorrie Moore, excerpt three)

from Self-Help: Stories by Lorrie Moore:

Your mom will try to pep you up. She’ll say: Look! Pat Benatar! Let’s dance.

Tell her you think Pat Benatar is stupid and cheap. Say nothing for five whole minutes.

When the B-52’s come on, tell her you think they’re okay.

Smile sheepishly. Then the two of you will get up and dance like wild maniacs around the coffee table until you are sweating, whooping to the oo-ah-oo’s, jumping like pogo sticks, acting like space robots. Do razz-ma-razz hands like your mom at either side of your head. During a commercial, ask for an orange soda.