the last book I ever read (Phil Klay's Redeployment, excerpt four)

from 2014 National Book Award Winner for Fiction Redeployment by Phil Klay:

Not long after Sepion’s death, one of the Divine Office’s morning prayers was Psalm 144: “Blessed by the Lord, my help, who trains my hands for battle, my fingers for war.” Kneeling against my rack in my spare little trailer, I faltered. I turned back to the previous prayer, from Daniel: “Today there is no prince, no prophet, no leader, no holocaust, no sacrifice. No offering, no incense, no first-fruits offered to you--no way to obtain your mercy.”

I stopped reading and tried to pray with my own words. I asked God to protect the battalion from further harm. I knew He would not. I asked Him to bring abuses to light. I knew He would not. I asked Him, finally, for grace.