the last book I ever read (The Bathroom by Jean-Philippe Toussaint, excerpt ten)

from The Bathroom by Jean-Philippe Toussaint (translated by Nancy Amphoux and Paul De Angelis):

25. When it was time to play and my doctor was already striding with high, springing steps in the direction of the number-three court, the fat blond man, who had not moved from his chair, said to his sister that he was not going to play. She was obviously taken aback and asked why not; he answered that he did not have to give a reason. There was an exchange of rather hard looks, the sister started talking at high speed, making numerous gestures. He was imperturbable, did not move an inch; he listened calmly, cleaning a molar with a toothpick. A few minutes later my doctor came jogging back, head high, gaze questioning. Having been informed of the situation he squatted down in front of his brother-in-law and, speaking in a low voice, slapped him lightly on his fat thighs and pinched his fleshy cheeks between two fingers, to convince him to come play. Still cleaning his teeth, and looking more and more out of sort, the fat blond man shook his head. At least he stood up, removed the toothpick from his mouth, and said, with a long drawl, before walking away, that we could go to hell.

the last book I ever read (The Bathroom by Jean-Philippe Toussaint, excerpt nine)

from The Bathroom by Jean-Philippe Toussaint (translated by Nancy Amphoux and Paul De Angelis):

63. I bought a pad of stationery from the shop that sells newspapers and, sitting at the big round table in my room, drew two columns on the paper. In the first I entered the names of five countries—Belgium, France, Sweden, Italy, and the United States—and next to them, in the second, I recorded the results of my darts games. After this initial knockout phase, I organized a match between the two national teams with the highest number of points. In the finals, it was Belgium against France. From the very first throws my own people, concentrating intently, easily outdistanced the butter-fingered French.

the last book I ever read (The Bathroom by Jean-Philippe Toussaint, excerpt eight)

from The Bathroom by Jean-Philippe Toussaint (translated by Nancy Amphoux and Paul De Angelis):

62. When I played darts I was calm and relaxed. I felt pacified. Little by little, emptiness would creep over me and I would steep myself in it until the last trace of tension vanished from my mind. Then—in one blazing movement—I would launch the dart at the target.

the last book I ever read (The Bathroom by Jean-Philippe Toussaint, excerpt seven)

from The Bathroom by Jean-Philippe Toussaint (translated by Nancy Amphoux and Paul De Angelis):

57. We had left the café and were going back to the hotel. Hands in my coat pockets, I walked head down, pressing my feet down hard on the pavement to push the city under water. Every time I came to the bottom of a staircase I jumped unobtrusively to the ground with both feet together and, waiting for Edmondsson at the bottom of the steps, asked her to do the same. With the town sinking at the rate of thirty centimeters a century, I explained, or three millimeters a year, or point zero zero eighty-two millimeters a day, or point zero zero zero zero zero zero zero one millimeters= a second, one might reasonably hope, by pressing our feet down hard on the pavement as we walked, to play some part in the drowning of the town.

the last book I ever read (The Bathroom by Jean-Philippe Toussaint, excerpt six)

from The Bathroom by Jean-Philippe Toussaint (translated by Nancy Amphoux and Paul De Angelis):

46. Leaning toward the plate-glass window with my hands cupped around my eyes, I looked into the Standa department store, which was still closed, and tried to attract a saleswoman’s attention by tapping on the glass with a fist. When one of them finally looked my way I waved a greeting respectfully and pointed to my watch to ask what time the store would open. After one or two unproductive exchanges in sign language, she shuffled over to me and, stretching her fingers wide apart, showed me nine of them. Then, coming still closer, her chest and stomach pressed against the pane of glass so slightly separating us, her mouth almost against mine, she articulated lasciviously, Alle nove, creating a little cloud of steam between us. I looked at my watch: it was half past eight. I turned away, started walking through the nearby streets. In the end I found tennis balls somewhere else.

the last book I ever read (The Bathroom by Jean-Philippe Toussaint, excerpt five)

from The Bathroom by Jean-Philippe Toussaint (translated by Nancy Amphoux and Paul De Angelis):

22. Little by little, I began to make friends with the barman. We exchanged nods whenever we met on the stairs. Occasionally, when I went for my late-afternoon coffee, we’d have a conversation. We talked about soccer, automobile racing. The absence of a common language did not bother us; on cycling, for example, we could go on forever. Moser, he’d say. Merckx, I’d remark, after a little silence. Coppi, he’d say, Fausto Coppi. I’d stir my spoon in the coffee, nodding, thoughtful. Bruyère, I’d murmur. Bruyère? he’d say. Yes, yes, Bruyère. He seemed unconvinced. I thought the conversation at an end, but just as I was preparing to leave the counter, he grabbed me by the arm and said, Gimondi. Van Springel, I replied. Planckaert, I added, Dierieckx, Willems, Van Impe, Von Looy, de Vlaeminck: Roger de Vlaeminck and his brother, Eric. What could anyone say to that? He gave up. I paid for the coffee and went upstairs to my room.

the last book I ever read (The Bathroom by Jean-Philippe Toussaint, excerpt four)

from The Bathroom by Jean-Philippe Toussaint (translated by Nancy Amphoux and Paul De Angelis):

17. When leaving the hotel, I seldom went far. I’d stick to the streets nearby. Once, however, I had to return to the Standa department store: I needed shirts; my new underpants were getting dirty. The store was full of light. I walked slowly down the aisles, like an inspector, occasionally patting a child’s head. I lingered in front of the clothes racks, selected shirts, felt the wool of the sweaters. In the toy department I bought a set of darts.